Luke 9:28-36

The above passage was too long to include here, so I included a link for your reading pleasure. This passage is widely known as “The Transfiguration.” In this passage, Jesus takes Peter, James, and John up on a mountain to pray, and he later transforms in front of them, showing him his real glory, with his face changing and his clothes becoming dazzling white (v. 28-29). This is such a great passage; here are some nuggets that I found really interesting.

First, this passage shows Jesus becoming his true and intimate self with a select few. This passage reiterates the practice of having an inner circle with whom you can be your truest self. Not everyone deserves or can handle us as we authentically are, and that’s okay. Here, Jesus shows us that having a trusted few with whom you can be fully known is quite alright.

Second, Jesus spent a lot of time with God before he revealed himself to his friends. And we know Jesus spent a lot of time in prayer because his guys were asleep by the time Jesus was ready to reveal his true self. True intimacy with the Father is necessary before we can achieve true intimacy with others. Jesus became his truest self while he was spending time with God in prayer (v.29). His face changed! Jesus’ most identifiable feature, the physical essence of who he was, was transformed when spending time with the Father. God gives us our identity. We can’t share who we are with others, even a select few, if we don’t know who we are for ourselves. I could write a whole entry on that point, but I digress. Intimacy with God must proceed true intimacy with others.

And intimacy with God was so important for Jesus because when he did finally reveal his truest self to Peter, James, and John, they almost couldn’t handle it. They saw Jesus as he truly was and Peter started talking out his head, and they all got super scared and mute (v. 33-36). In their defense, Jesus basically looked other-worldly at the time, so I get it. But had Jesus not grounded himself in his time with God, the reaction of his friends could have rocked him, made him question who he was, or what he was there to do–or he could have at least felt those feelings before reminding himself who he was. After all, these were his three closest friends, hand-picked by him, to see him in the most intimate way. And they didn’t understand him or get him, when he revealed who he really was. That whole scene would have left anyone else feeling abandoned and completely misunderstood.

But not Jesus. Because he was intimate with God. He had spent time with the Father, and he was sure of who he was and what he came to do. And because of that God-intimacy, Jesus was able to show himself to his closest people and be okay with them not understanding him fully–because God did.

Intimacy with God grounds us and helps us walk out this life with confidence, knowing that the God who made heaven and earth made us, too. And we are good in his sight.

Mark 5:21-34

Can you imagine bleeding for 12 straight years? That’s 4,380 days of a non-stop menstrual cycle. Can you just imagine? Recently, I came across the Bible story of the woman how had this exact issue. “The Woman with the Issue of Blood,” as she is commonly known.

As a short recap, this unnamed woman (we’ll call her “The Woman” for short) had been bleeding for 12 years without stopping. She had spent all of her money on treatments to stop the bleeding, but nothing had worked, and the book of Mark tells us that at the point that she encounters Jesus, she had actually gotten worse, not better. (Mark 5:26). As Jesus is passing through an area where she is, surrounded by a crowd, she presses her way through the crowd, believing he can heal her. But she doesn’t confront him or ask him directly for healing. She reaches out only to touch him, believing that just touching Jesus’ clothes will be enough to heal her illness, even if Jesus doesn’t directly speak to her or even know of her. (Mark 5:27-28). So she touches his clothes, and instantly feels healing in her body. (Mark 5:29). Jesus, despite being surrounded by people, feels the healing power leave him and, somewhat ironically, asks “who touched me?” (Mark 5:30). After some confusion, The Woman eventually comes forward and confesses to Jesus that she touched him, and in response, instead of berating her, he tells her that her faith has healed her and that she can go in peace. (Mark 5:32-34).

So many thoughts came up as I was reading this story, I’m going to share them in the next few posts. First, I’ll start with my thoughts about the concept of intention. This scripture passage tells us that a “large crowd was following [Jesus] and pressing against him.” (Mark 5:24). People were crowding Jesus and were pressing against him, yet when The Woman touched him, he instantly sensed that power had left his body. (Mark 5:30). What was the difference between this woman’s touch and everyone else’s? Her intention. This woman reached out to touch Jesus, believing she could be healed. She believed that Jesus could heal her, and she reached out with the intention of grabbing some of that healing power for herself. It was almost like theft by faith, if that can be considered a thing– but more on that later.

The spirit of intention that weaves itself throughout The Woman’s story can be lifted from the pages of the Bible and neatly transposed onto our own lives. Like The Woman, we hurt, we suffer, we struggle through problems and issues, some of which plague us for a long time. We may not always choose the best course of action in trying to handle our problems. I know The Woman can’t be the only person who has thrown money at solutions that simply did not work. Even her approach to Jesus might be considered a little “off.” I mean, she really tried to steal his healing power. But Jesus saw her heart; he saw the intention behind her actions. And he saw her faith. She knew that Jesus was the solution and was willing to do anything to get to him and access his power. Likewise, Jesus knows our hearts and sees our intentions. When we seek him earnestly, and believe in his power, just like The Woman, he can feel it, immediately. And when Jesus does touch our hearts, they are healed, and we can go forward in peace, just like The Woman. When we approach life’s situations with an earnest desire for Jesus’ help and healing power, he notices. He picks up on our heart’s intention and our yearning for him, and allows his power to flow through us to heal us and help us live this life, for his glory. Thank you, God, for the ability to reach out to your son Jesus and receive his holy, healing power. Amen.

“For people just waiting. Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.”

Oh, the Places You’ll Go! By Dr. Suess

I walked up the stairs in my house this morning, looking for the umpteenth time at the stain in the carpet. “Oh right, gotta call the carpet cleaning people,” I reminded myself. I’ve been reminding myself of this task for so much longer than I’d like to admit. And I’ve written it down, it’s been on my list before, and somehow slipped off the list and then made its way back on. The problem is, I feel like I do this with most things in my life. I am a procrastinator by nature. And, uh, that needs to change. After I looked at that stain on the stairs, I remembered this passage from Dr. Seuss, and then I asked myself, “what are you waiting on?” I’m talking about the carpet, but also, my life? Why do I always assume that there will be a “later” when I’ll get to the task? And “later” is always a moving target. And the next thing you know, a year has gone by and I’m looking at the same dirty stain in the carpet. Let’s take some action today, Whitney. Let’s take some action today, people. Now let me go find that number for Stanley Steamer…

Last week, after reading the story of Ruth, I tweeted this:

What would happen if we were faithful to a person, an idea, a dream or to our God? Ruth teaches us that faithfulness is fruitful. May we use this day, and every day to be faithful and fruitful.¹

This sentiment has been swirling around in my head ever since I wrote it. In some ways, the notion of never giving up on a thing seems outdated. That really isn’t how our culture moves. If something’s not serving you, then let it go. And while this statement certainly has its place and purpose, I think we do ourselves a disservice if we fail to recognize that life is nuanced, and not every mantra applies to every nook and crevice of our existence.

There are some things worth tending to–slowly, gently, patiently, and consistently–because the fruit is worth it. Things that can be, at times, puzzling, frustrating, and stress-inducing end up producing the sweetest moments of satisfaction when we finally see end result of our efforts. Parents know this firsthand. Most parents are faithful in the task of raising their children, even though it’s one of the hardest things ever, with the goal and the hope of producing good “fruit”– people who are equipped with the skills and character to make a difference as adults.

I’m grateful that our heavenly Father takes the same approach. I’m grateful for his faithfulness to me. I get it wrong so often, but he never gives up on me. He is faithful. That consistency, that willingness to cover and care for me each and every time inspires me to be better and to cultivate my own faithfulness.

This life is short and we live with a sense of urgency that may or may not always be warranted. But here’s to the moments of waiting, of quiet cultivation, of consistent caring. Here’s to faithfully tending to a vision, a goal, a relationship, whatever it is. May you be reminded that faithfulness is fruitful and worth the wait.

¹If you’re not familiar, check out the story of Ruth, and how she refused to leave her mother-in-law, even after her own husband died. Her faithfulness eventually brought provision and security for her family.

What is Flash 15?

Last night I was out on the back patio hurriedly typing away on my laptop trying to finish one work task or another. Even though it was evening, it was still pretty warm outside, and as I worked away, I had intermittently shed my sweater, baseball cap, and purse that I had on when I initially plopped down on the outdoor sofa to start working.

As I worked away, I was half paying attention to my daughter, age 9, popping in and out of the house, until finally she jumped through the patio doorway and yelled “Tada!” I looked up from my screen and saw her standing in front of me wearing my hat, my sweater, and my purse–across the body just like I always wear it. She started snapping selfies with my phone. “Just like Mommy!” she proudly beamed as she continued snapping photos. I smiled and half-laughed, though fully amused at this spectacle. After she took her fill of photos, she sighed. “Whew, it’s hard work being Mommy.” I laughed again. And then she pranced into the house to show her brother.

And of course, this whole scene sent me down a rabbit hole right there on the patio, lap top open and humming on my lap. My daughter wants to be just like me. What am I showing her? Who is the woman she tries so very hard to emulate? What does she see daily when she observes me? I answered these questions for myself, and to be honest, I didn’t like all of my responses. But, that little introspective exercise served up a heap of motivation. I want my little girl to know that she had a mommy who went for it with all of her heart. I want her to be able to say that she had a mom who lived life fully, taking every opportunity to fill in the space on this earth that her potential carved out for her. So, as Robin Arzón says, “decide how bad you want it, and proceed accordingly.” Here’s to our future, Baby Girl.

What is Flash 15?

I think one of the most important things for a person is that they be seen and known. Everyone deserves to have at least one other person in their lifetime look into their eyes, look into their life and actually see them. And maybe what I’m talking about is intimacy. Emotional intimacy. Everyone deserves a place where they can be exactly who they are, even if that sh*t makes no sense in the moment, and have someone else just accept them for where they are. Everyone deserves to feel worthy and significant just as they are. Not judged, evaluated, or told they’re wrong. Just affirmed. Plain and simple. That feeling, that affirmation, is home. It is refreshing, comforting and intoxicating. When someone sees you and understands you, you feel a little less alone in this world. And at the end of the day, isn’t that what we all want? Don’t we all want to be affirmed and accepted for who we are? The tricky part, though, is that I don’t think we can get this from someone else until we are totally willing to give this to ourselves. Can I affirm me? Can I accept my feelings in any moment as valid and affirm myself…even if my feelings require self-regulating later? Can I accept who I am and where I am even when others don’t? Or will I forever second-guess myself, judge my thoughts, and criticize? Intimacy and emotional closeness with another can’t come until we are willing to extend the type of grace and admiration to ourselves that we are looking for from another. The Lord created me and the Holy Spirit fills me. That alone makes me worthy. Only when I affirm and embrace myself do I prepare for this same kind of love from another.

What is Flash 15?

If you know me, you know that these days I’m all about Peloton. I love it. On the Peloton App, one of my favorite instructors, Jess Sims, teaches a class called the Flash 15. It’s 15 minutes of weights and cardio combined for a quick workout session when you don’t have a lot of time. Guess who doesn’t have a lot of time? This wife-momma-attorney right here. So, I’ve created a Flash 15 of my own. 15 minutes of writing each day. This is my attempt to squeeze in a daily 15 minutes of doing what truly brings me joy. Some Flash 15s may be scripture-based and some may not be. They may have some typos–I mean, I’ll try my best. What Flash 15s will be is 15 minutes of my honest thoughts flowing from my brain down my arms, through my fingertips and onto this screen. So we’ll see what rolls out of my brain for 15 minutes each day. Here’s to writing it down and here’s to trying and trying again. (This little blurb took me 15 minutes with editing, so times up! This will be interesting…)

We know the God who parted a whole sea. He has made donkeys talk to people (Numbers 22). We know a God that caused fortified city walls to crumble at the marching of feet. (Joshua 6). We know a God that caused leaping flames to descend from the sky at the piercing prayer of one of his chosen. (1 Kings 18). We know that God. We know the God that choked up that same sky, withholding rain from the land for three years at the request of the same prophet. (1 Kings 17). We know the God that emboldened a little shepherd boy to defy the enemies of God’s people, bringing them to their knees with the throw of a single stone. (1 Samuel 17). We know the God who made prison walls quake without lifting a finger, cracking the shackles from the ankles and wrists of his apostles. (Acts 16). We know the God that called Lazarus, stinking and decomposing in his tomb, back to life (John 11)–the God who did the same for his Son. (John 19-20).

Nothing is impossible to the God of Impossibilities. Nothing. There is absolutely nothing that God cannot do, and that gives us reason to hope.

When we want to give up, and think a goal is out of reach, or that a particular thing won’t ever happen for us, we must remember Jesus and his power that is in us to do exceedingly and abundantly above and beyond all that we could ever ask or think, according to His power in us. (Ephesians 3:20). It’s so easy to be distracted by what’s in front of us–to be distracted by how we feel. It’s true that age brings wisdom, but if we’re not careful, it can also bring cynicism. We tell ourselves things like “I’ve struggled with this for so long. My parent has struggled with this for so long. My grandparent has struggled with this for so long. It will never be different for me. I can’t escape this. I can’t reach this goal; no one in my family has done this.” And on and on. If we don’t pay attention, our life experiences and personal history become the fertile breeding ground for constant lies that we feed ourselves. We serve a God who can do all things. Period. We only need to open the pages of the Bible to be reminded of what He can do with a willing and open heart. That is all he needs from us.

Let’s forget about what we don’t have. The time we don’t think we have to devote to a thing. The energy we don’t think we have. The money we don’t think we have. The knowledge we don’t think we have. The actual physical capacity that we think we lack. Let’s put all of that behind us, forgetting what’s behind and pressing toward the mark, the thing calling us forward. (Philippians 3:12-14). It is difficult to constantly and consistently believe in the Lord’s ability to do the seemingly impossible. This belief requires a daily washing of our thoughts and a daily reminder of who the Lord is and the power that he possesses. Maintaining this belief is a difficult task, but not an impossible one. It is a task that Jesus calls us to daily. Let’s answer His call and watch Him turn the impossible into a reality.

Lord, this thing seems impossible. I feel like everywhere I turn I see walls that stop me and block me from doing the thing I know you have called me to do. Help me to hear your whispers of reassurance over my screaming doubts. Help me to focus on you and your power to do all things, even this seemingly impossible thing I’m asking for right now. I know that you are a God who sees me, who loves me, and you are a God who guides me. Make a way for me, Lord. In your unmatched power, make a way for me so that I can once again see your glory, and proclaim your goodness. Amen.

Sometimes I really don’t get the heart, mind, body connection–or should I say disconnection. I feel like most of the time these three things are out of whack–like, rarely do my heart, mind, and body all agree with one another at the same time. I feel like the only time that my heart, mind, and body agree is when they all say it’s bedtime. Outside of that, good luck.

For example, when I am supposed to be working, my mind says, “Let’s scroll Instagram!” When my mind says it’s time to clean the house, my body is like, “Ha, you tried it, Sis.” Even when it comes to starting on, working toward, or completing some long-term major life goals, my mind then does some Jedi mind trick and tries to shut down, leaving me feeling stuck and paralyzed with fear. I mean really, mind? C’mon.

So what do I do? Even Paul, who lived so many thousands of years ago asked this very question. “The things that I hate, I do,” he said.¹ I mean, that’s a loose translation, but you get what he’s saying. “Who will deliver me from the body of this death?” he seems to almost plead.² And it’s funny because he never straight up says “Jesus will deliver me.” Depending on the Bible translation, Paul just says, “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord.”³ Like, what? It’s a classic non-answer, answer. I mean, the answer is obviously Jesus, but Paul doesn’t really come right out and tell us how Jesus delivers us from this body that won’t do what it’s supposed to do. Paul goes through such intricate detail to tell us how messed up he is and how conflicted he feels, but then gives a short, almost glib, answer when talking about the solution that we all need.

One thought I had about this mind/body conflict and Paul’s presentation of the solution is that the interplay of these two things represents so much of our lives, generally. Like, we know the answer to our problems is Jesus, but trying to figure out how or when He will work out the problem? Forget it. Who knows, right? This sometimes fitful and uncomfortable certainty keeps us coming back to Jesus again and again–searching and asking for help and ultimately receiving it, sometimes in the most incredible and unpredictable ways. And that seems just about right, because isn’t that what God is wanting from us after all–our desperate, undivided attention? Unless our heart, mind, and body are daily surrendered to Jesus, then they won’t (easily) align.

Only when we acknowledge that it is the Holy Spirit who gives us power to live with heart, mind, and body aligned, that’s when things start clicking and moving and going along as they should. Maybe Paul’s answer to this problem is short because in so many ways, it is indeed a mystery and beyond our own power. Ultimately, the answer is Jesus. He is the one who pours the oil of his Holy Spirit into the squeaky, rusty gears of our hearts, minds, and bodies, and somehow gets them to smoothly operate as one well-oiled machine. The answer is Jesus and it has always been. Let’s not waste anymore time and get aligned right away.

1 Romans 7:15 New King James Version

2 Romans 7:24 New King James Version

3 Romans 7:25 New King James Version

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]

John 16:33 (Amplified Bible, Classic Edition)

Sometimes I just sit back and ask myself “what is this life?” The hours that we spend pouring over our work, fretting over our children, standing over the stove (that’s not too many hours for me, but in any case), picking up toys and clothes, watering flowers, hanging shelves, caressing faces, and kissing lips.

This life is the very thing we cling to, the very thing we fight for-to live it on our own terms–how we want, when we want, and in the fashion that we choose. This life is the very thing that we grieve when we see another young brother die at the hands of the police, or multiple people die at the hands of a stranger or disgruntled co-worker.

This life is both beautiful and terrible. Joyful and painful. Awesome and all-consuming. It is filled with uncertainty and predictability, all at once. And the sheer weight of this reality is what draws me to Jesus each day.

It is comforting to know that Jesus acknowledges this daily tension that we experience. He told us that we would have troubles and challenges. He never shied away from that reality. But he promised to be there through it all, and give us the peace and confidence to walk through that tension, to both yield to it and mold it and bend it and make it all our own.

Jesus’ assurance to us that he has deprived the world of its power to harm isn’t a promise of a pain-free life. That would be in direct contradiction to what he said in the same breath–that we would face hard times. But belief in Him and his power and glory snatches away this world’s ability to take our hope. And if we remain hopeful, then our harm is never permanent.

I worry about my son and my husband as I watch them leave the house. I think about their potential interactions with police and am so suddenly aware of the striking fragility of their existence. But then I rememeber the promise of Jesus’ peace. I think about the work emails, phone calls, motions and briefs and wonder how it will ever all be done. But then I remember the Lord’s peace. I think about the huge responsibilty I have been given in raising these little humans, and being the best life partner I can be to my husband.

When I think about all the things that make this life so beautiful and hard all at the same time, I get anxious and worry. But then I remember Jesus’ peace– one that stills all fears, calms all anxieties, and quells all doubts. A peace that is promised to us, and one that I intend to grab hold of with all of my might, each day that I live this beautiful, amazing, terrifying, wonderful life.